Best Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

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Opportunity tends to knock once, then it's gone...temptation, however, likes to stand there and lean on the damn doorbell!

Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.

Life is short, so smile while you still have teeth.

Women are like a computer virus... they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer your money, edit your mind, download their problems, delete your smile and hang y

Roses are red violets are blue if your parents said that you are beautiful they're lying you.

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure.

Some people are just like some schools during summer, they have, NO CLASS.


Strangers think I'm quiet. My friends think I'm outgoing. My best friends know that I'm completely insane.

All sincere boys fall in love with stupid girls, all sincere girls fall in love with stupid boys, I am neither stupid nor sincere, that's why I am 'SINGLE'.

When times are troubled, SMILE. When disaster threatens, LAUGH. When asked your age, LIE.
I'd say I'm not a morning person but I'm really not sure I'm an evening person either.

Hey baby, feel my sweater. You feel that? That's boyfriend material.

I used to care what people think about me until I tried paying my bills with their thoughts.

It's amazing how stupid you can be when you're in love.

You say I'm a bi**h? Well a bi**h is a dog, and dogs bark, and bark is on trees, and trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful, so thanks for the compliment

Dear phone, Thank you for not making me look like a loner in awkward situations. Sincerely

People say that beauty is on the inside, but I would prefer a pretty face over a pretty kidney

I like food and sleep. So if I give you my food, or text you late at night, you are special to me.

The most exercise you get is running your mouth, jumping to conclusions, and pushing your luck.

If you ran as much as you run your mouth, you would be in great shape.
I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.

They say milk gives u strength. Drink three glasses and try moving a wall. You can't. Drink three shots of vodka and it moves all by itself.

History always tells a story... That's why you must always clear it before your dad uses the computer!

That awkward moment when your crush is absent from school, and you wasted a really cute outfit.

I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up, because I am still looking for ideas.

Don't play hard to get when your face is already hard to want.

Anyone who uses the phrase 'easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried taking candy from a baby.

If anyone ever breaks your heart, just remember they are only human and you can break their body.

How am I supposed to grow up and make life choices when I still use my fingers to count, and I still sing the whole alphabet to find out which letter comes next.

There are three sides to an argument, your side, my side, and the right side, which is still my side!

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Best Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Best Funny Quotes Biography