Life Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Life Funny Quotes Biography

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The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.

When life gives you lemons, find someone who has vodka and throw a party.

Opportunity tends to knock once, then it's gone...temptation, however, likes to stand there and lean on the damn doorbell!

Life can be funny and serious. We either laugh over it or cry over it. But Life itself doesn't care about such reactions. It goes on.

In today's world, the key to success is to delete your Facebook account!

I love the ones who are in my life and make it amazing. I also love the ones who left my life and made it fantastic.

Most of things in life are easy to lose, and hard to gain. Unfortunately, this isn't in the case for weight...

We spend the first half of our lives trying to grow up and the other half trying to figure out how we got so old!

Life was so much easier when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits!

My hair looks good: 3% at school. 7% at home. 90% before I'm about to shower.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

Dogs have Owners, Cats have Staff.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.

Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.

Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect-- But tell me the truth.

Please, dear God, don't let me fuck up.

In my life, I have prayed but one prayer: oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted it.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.

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Life Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Life Funny Quotes Biography