Famous Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Famous Funny Quotes Biography

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The difference between Los Angeles and yogurt is that yogurt comes with less fruit.

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.

They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

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You can do anything, but not everything.

2. Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

3. The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least.

4. You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.

5. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.

6. You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

7. When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean.

8. The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.

9. To the man who only has a hammer, everything he encounters begins to look like a nail.

10. We are what we repeatedly do; excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.

11. A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.

12. Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought.

13. Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

14. Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together.

15. What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do.

16. The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new lands but seeing with new eyes.

17. Work like you don’t need money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like no one’s watching

18. Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time, to figure out whether you like it or not.

19. Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

20. People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.

Famous Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

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Famous Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Famous Funny Quotes Biography