Funny Break up Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Funny Break up Quotes Biography

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Is there a cure for a broken heart? Only time can heal your broken heart, just as time can heal his broken arms and legs.

The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new theory is men don't mature. Marry a younger one.

Men should be like Kleenex...soft, strong, disposable.

I have a pet dog, he kisses like you, his breath is like yours, he pants like you. I love him dearly but I wouldn't want to marry him. Lets part before this goes any farther.

You mean more to me than life itself - but I'm suicidal.

I want someone who can buy me a new car...

You're too young for me. I mean, too old. We're the same age? Well, that doesn't work for me, either.

My dog is having puppies and I need to take a year off in order to train them to attack your picture.

This just isn't for me. Nothing personal. I want to be able to tell people - I'm single.

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house , you can never tell.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.

There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman . I wouldn't stand for that.

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money .

Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass to pay for it all.

The dread of loneliness is greater than the dread of bondage, so we get married.

Never regret . If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience.

Love is a word that is constantly heard,
Hate is a word that is not.
Love, I am told, is more precious than gold.
Love, I have read, is hot.
But Hate is the verb that to me is superb,
And Love but a drug on the mart.
Any kiddie in school can Love like a fool,
But Hating, my boy, is an Art.

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog , which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

Hate is such a luxurious emotion, it can only be spent on one we love.

Is there a cure for a broken heart ? Only time can heal your broken heart, just as time can heal his broken arms and legs.

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

The trouble with women is that they get all excited about nothing... and then marry him!

The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up. The trouble is that over the years, men have developed an inflated notion of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much a charade as business is now. They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they'd never clean anything.

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.

The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new theory is men don't mature. Marry a younger one.

I first learned the concepts of non-violence in my marriage.

Marriage is a mistake every man should make.

After 7 years of marriage , I am sure of two things. First, never wallpaper together and second, you'll need two bathrooms... both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in.

When I think of a merry, happy, free girl, and look at the ailing, aching state a wife is generally doomed to, which you can't deny is the penalty of marriage .

For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of forty plus, there is a balding, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

I think... therefore, I'm single .

There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that.

Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can't do it in one push. You gotta rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.

There are always a few before- Valentine's Day breakups that allow people to cancel reservations.

If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools.

Live close, visit often.

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.

I would rather be a beggar and single, than a queen and married.

Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women.

It is always incomprehensible to men, that a woman should refuse an offer of marriage .

I like to wake up each morning feeling a new man.

The surest way to be alone is to get married.

By all means marry, if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage .

What women want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What men want: Tickets to the World Series.

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Funny Break up Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Funny Break up Quotes Biography