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Random Funny Quotes Biography

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People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.

The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for life.

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not Eureka! (I found it!) but 'That's funny...�

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.

I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it. He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damn fool idealistic crusade like your father did. It's your father's lightsaber. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or as random as a blaster, but an elegant weapon for a more civilized age. For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times, before the Empire.

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They dont know theyre being funny.

I am sitting here looking at the most amazing person I have ever seen, smart, funny, caring, and absolutely stunning! Yes, I am looking in the mirror!

SINGLE AND (maybe if youre attractive funny and educated and/or Ryan Gosling ) READY TO MINGLE.

Treat me like a joke, watch me leave you like its funny

If it tastes funny, don't eat it. If it looks funny, call a doctor. If it is funny, it must have been something I said.

If you don't do anything stupid when you're young, you won't remember something funny when you're old...

It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.

It's funny how you go through the year day by day but nothing changes, then when you look back, everything's different.

Treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny.

Life can be funny and serious. We either laugh over it or cry over it. But Life itself doesn't care about such reactions. It goes on.

It's funny how the people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.

I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.

It's a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get

The awkward moment when you realize your joke isn't as funny as you thought.

Its a funny thing that when a man hasnt anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

Funny in Michigan you can be a seasonal boyfriend and in the summer you can take off But in the winter you gotta be on lock.

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.

The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. You develop the funny bone and the wishbone that go with it.

If you tell the truth about how youre feeling, it becomes funny.

Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend.

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Random Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Random Funny Quotes Biography