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Funny Quotes About Marriage Biography

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Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

I guess you'll never appreciate your freedom as a SINGLE until you finally find yourself in the four walls of MARRIAGE.

Whoever keeps his mouth shut when he realizes that he is wrong is wise and he who holds the mouth even if he is right is married.

Marriage is a hunting permit that entitles you to only one dear at a time.

You marry because you lack of judgement, and divorce because you lack of patience, and you remarry because you lack of good memories.

People say there is no difference between complete & finish. When you marry the right one, you are complete, and when you marry the wrong one, you are finished and when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are completely finished.

I can't wait to be married. It's going to be so great to find that one special person I want to annoy for the rest of my life.

Marriage is a WORKSHOP. Where man works and woman shops!

Marriage is a workshop, where the husband works and the wife shops.

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

Here's to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West for not making anyone else be married to them.

A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions.

Marriage is an institution in which a Man loses his Bachelors degree, and the Woman gets her Masters.

Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.

I went to see my doctor with a nasty pain in the ass. Turns out he's already met my wife.

Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window. If it gets any worse I'll have to let her in.

You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

Just a reminder of MARRIAGE: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master. .

Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you.

My wife is 6 ft tall, I'm 5'5. We don't always see things eye to eye.

A person who surrenders when hes WRONG, is HONEST. A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE. A person who surrenders even if hes RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.

Every man sees his second mother in his wife but every woman sees her first child in her husband.

DAUGHTER what is marriage: MOM: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore........

Why do women live longer than men? Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bills does.

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

True love is waking up next to your partner and thinking Well, I could smother them with a pillow or make breakfast. Sigh. Pancakes it is.

A clever wife often sleeps with a stupid husband.

When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does.

My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right.

A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.

Getting married at 22 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9:30pm.

Disney movies also taught me that my main goal in life, is to find a fucking prince and marry him.

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always wrong and the other is the wife...

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.

When a married man talks in his sleep, it's because he finally has the opportunity to say something without the wife interrupting him.

Marriage is like a public toilet. Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & those inside are desperate to come out...

Even though I've been married for eight years, I do separate my food in the refrigerator from my wife's. I put labels on it that say 'This is Will's leftover chicken' or whatever. And if you touch it, yeah, I get livid.

Before you marry someone, ask yourself, 'Will they be a good killing partner during the zombie apocalypse?'

Prostitutes are way better than marriage. Why buy a whole cow, when you only want a glass of milk?

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Funny Quotes About Marriage Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Funny Quotes About Marriage Biography