Funny Quotes About Life in General Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Funny Quotes About Life in General Biography

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Life is like a midget, try to live it up.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid doing entirely.

Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination.

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good!

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

You can't have everything....where would you put it?

In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back…..

Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

No one is listening until you fart.

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat

Don’t look back, somebody might be gaining on you

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred….

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics. ~Author Unknown

Don't let someone be a priority in your life when you are still an option in their life

No one knows what’s next, but everybody does it.

Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days, you’ll be right…

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.

People who snore always fall asleep first.

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

I think I've discovered the secret of life -you just hang around until you get used to it .

I think I am, therefore, I am. I think...

I want to die like my grandfather, peacefully, in his sleep. Not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out.

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Funny Quotes About Life in General Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Funny Quotes About Life in General Biography