Cool Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Cool Funny Quotes Biography

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Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain. Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time...

I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems. You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!

They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team his sophomore year.

Buy our alarm clock and you will sleep soundly.

If you know how many cupcakes I'm holding behind my back I'll give you both of them.

Whomever tries to drown their sorrows by drinking should know one thing: they know how to swim! -

Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study.If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.

There is no better moment to postpone something you don't want to do other than right now.

I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?

It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated.

The amount of time it takes for a minute to go by is proportionally dependent with the distance to the bathroom door.

If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!!

No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid. Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!

My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine, unfortunately the pharmacist said too many people were crying from laughter so it's no longer available.

When we go to seafood restaurants I tell them 'Just water for me, thanks.'

All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave.

I'm sorry officer but I can't stop speeding... the earth is spinning way over the speed limit in this zone.

I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year. Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.

Could you please be as silent as the G in lasagna?

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.

I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.

He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this sidewalk is icy!"

In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry! -

What great energy, intelligence, and magnificent beautiful eyes... But enough about me, how are you doing? -

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day.

In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying.

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Cool Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Cool Funny Quotes Biography