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Funny Quotes From The Office Biography

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For a dreamer, night's the only time of day.

What is it like being single? I like it. I like starting each day with a sense of possibility. And I'm optimistic because everyday I get a little more desperate, and desperate situations yield the quickest results.

Dating shouldn't be hard for someone like me and you know why it is? Because no one in this office will help me.

I'm a catch and I am not going to be the one who got away.

Resents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, 'Hey man, I love you this many dollars-worth.'

Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information.

I'm friends with everybody in this office. We're all best friends. I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late and start having dentist appointments that aren't dentist appointments, and that is when it's nice to let them know that you could beat them up.

Between the sheets, we were like Jordan and Pippen.

I am Michael, and I am part English, Irish, German, and Scottish, sort of a virtual United Nations.

Nobody likes beets, Dwight. You should grow something everybody does like. You should grow candy.

Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded.

You may look around and see two groups here: white collar, blue collar. But I don't see it that way, and you know why not? Because I am collar-blind.

If I had a gun, with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.

I'm looking for a passionate affair, not companionship. I'm a man of intensity and youth.

Life is not what you see, but what you've projected. It's not what you've felt, but what you've decided. It's not what you've experienced, but how you've remembered it. It's not what you've forged, but what you've allowed. And it's not who's appeared, but who you've summoned. And this should serve you well, beloved, until you find, what you already have.

I think sometimes I should do more carousing, because I don't do much and maybe it would be fun occasionally. It's hard for me to have fun and I'm a serious thinker and a searcher and funny from the front.

I'd met Mick Jagger years ago when he invited me to his house in Malibu, but back then I was too gagged to my fucking ear lobes in coke and Tuinals. I was barely in shape to knock on the door. But this time it was very beautiful. The limo pulled into his tent in the tent city, and he had a crib there for his daughter. We hugged, and I told Mick, 'You don't know what it means to be standing here with you after all these years. It's amazing, because I woke up this morning and I got my weekly report from the office, and right next to Aerosmith at Number Two in airplay R&R is the Stones album at Number One.' Of course, deep inside I'm thinking to myself, 'And watch out, because we're going to knock you right off the charts, motherfucker.

Me fail english? Thats unpossible.

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working when you get up in the morning, and doesn't stop until you get to the office.

I am dying from the treatment of too many physicians.

From the end spring new beginnings.

Om Asato maa sad-gamaya; tamaso maa jyotir-ga-maya; mrtyor-maa amrutam gamaya. Om Shaantih Shaantih Shaantih. O Lord Lead me from the unreal to the real. Lead me from the darkness to light. Lead me from death to immortality. May there be peace, peace, and perfect peace.

LAs crazy. When I was younger and watched The Beverly Hillbillies Or Beverly Hills 90210, I used to think it was so far from the hood. We were just in Compton and saw the yellow tape out, the sheriffs pickin up shells and looking for someone to arrest and take to jail. We get on the freeway for 10 or 15 minutes, and were in Beverly Hills, where we can sit in a Subway with no problems.

I aint takin nothing away from the other West Coast artists or nobody, no other artist, but I'm sayin, when the West Coast was dry, I brought it back to the bright lights, to the mainstream, to the MTV, BET level, and I'm gonna hold it down. In 2006, I'm gonna do it again, man.

LAs crazy. When I was younger and watched The Beverly Hillbillies Or Beverly Hills 90210, I used to think it was so far from the hood. We were just in Compton and saw the yellow tape out, the sheriffs pickin up shells and looking for someone to arrest and take to jail. We get on the freeway for 10 or 15 minutes, and were in Beverly Hills, where we can sit in a Subway with no problems.

For me it came from the material. It was so well written and brought the opportunity to work with great actors. And of course the opportunity to mince about was an added element that I wanted to take advantage of!

On your way back home again A Good Samaritan You see a man stuck in the rain Stranded with no friends and From the goodness of your heart You saved him from the flood A couple miles down the road He's covered in your blood

It was an improbable romance. He was a country boy. She was from the city. She had the world at her feet, while he didn't have two dimes to rub together.
I can't forget you been going crazy from the moment I met you

You're dead from the neck up.

I got good advice from the advertising world.

Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette, finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet, out from the window see her back drop silhouette. This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget.

Listen to the tides slowly turning, wash all your heartaches away. We are part of the fire that is burning, from the ashes we can build another day.

Words are hard to find, they're only cheques I've left unsigned, from the banks of chaos in my mind.

Lift me from the wonder maze, alienation is the craze.

Don't throw it away living for dollars and dimes. They'll all diminish in time oh let the motion come crashing like a plane from the sky.

Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance. As king, you need to understand that balance and respect all the creatures, from the crawling ant, to the leaping antelope

Well! The buzz from the bees is that the leopards are in a bit of a spot... And the baboons are going ape over this. Of course, the giraffes are acting like they're above it all...

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Funny Quotes From The Office Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Funny Quotes From The Office Biography